I'm not a huge Jay Leno Show fan (especially 'cuz one of my friends works for the show & I don't like how they treat him... grrr). I DO, however, love eccentric, wisecracking old people. So I LURVE me some Fruitcake Lady & I'm thrilled when Jay features her! Enjoy.
Ok, this isn't so much stupid as just interesting to me. I've been to a lot of countries and I've seen a lot of street hawkers (salesmen) in my life. No matter where you go around the world, there are people finding any creative way possible to make a living. But apparently men in the Congo have found that giving eachother manicure/pedicures is a profitable job.
"I do not mind getting my nails done by the roadside - the dirt won't get in," Guylain says.
"That is why I have a manicure - to keep my nails clean and protect them."
"One reason why I like to look good is to forget the dirt and poverty which surrounds me," he says.
Testament to the universal healing powers of a good mani/pedi...
Wow. I'm as romantic as the next girl... but Kevin honey, I think it's time to walk towards the white light. There are other fish in the sea, I swear! Trust me on this...
After escaping the box he was trapped in, Ken buried his face in his hands and cried. "That was a close one..." he sighed. "I almost didn't make it out."
Is that a lightsaber in your hand or are you happy to meet me?
Hey folks! I've been on deadline for work & busy planning my vacation... anybody miss me? Oh, of course you did. Don't play coy with me. I missed you too!!! :D
***************************************** Looking for a lover who can whisper sweet nothings in Klingon? You're in luck! Welcome to Trek Passions, the first 100% Free Dating & Personals site for Trekkies!
It's so logical... I mean, who could possibly need a date more?
This isn't stupid at all, it's just really cool. An incredible, feel-good story like this one just can't help but turn even the most stone-cold heart into jello with marshmallows. So beware...
Sometimes people get really addicted to reviewing things on Amazon.com, and as I was shopping there tonight, I discovered one such individual (the gender is confusing on the reviews...). As I started reading the reviews... from the personal love letters to Drew Barrymore & Danielle Briseboise, to the idyllic 70s memories inspired by Sigmund & The Sea Monsters videos, to the descriptions of fabulous "MirrorVision" business ventures... all I can say is that this is definitely a unique human being with varied interests.
Garry has five pages of reviews so there's a lot to sort through, but here's a review of a book on advertising mascots.
Let's change the Morton Salt Add!-Cari Hixon, Garry Hixon, October 25, 2004 Let's put Rain pants on the Morton Salt Girl and etch much more rain all over the package. Let's get a real person behind the logo. Let's do away with the sundress and put pants on her, girls don't wear dresses anymore and never did. I am Cari Hixon,Garry Hixon and will keep pushing the issue until they take my new add! I'm hopping mad and until these corporate scums put the real Morton Salt kid on there, Me!-I will sue them in Civil Court by using my likeness and making millions that I never see!-Lets fix the Morton Salt add-Cari Hixon, I mean Garry Jr. The real Morton Salt face-drew barrymore-take that Rahmm and Hass-hello to my friend Richard Peabody and Andy Warhol(Campells soup)
Young lovers in China's largest city, Shanghai, are turning to cosmetic surgery as a Valentine's Day present... Liu Yan, 24, and her 28-year-old boyfriend had matching nose jobs a fortnight before Valentine's Day, China Daily said.
"I suggested it as a way of celebrating our relationship and bringing us closer together with a special kind of bond," the paper quoted Ms Liu as saying. Riiigggghhhht.
Conan O'Brien & President Tarja Halonen of Finland
A no-doubt overwhelmed Conan O'Brien landed in Finland today. "There hasn't been anything like this seen at the airport since Paul Anka", said one police officer, referring to the teen idol's visit in the 1950s.
At this point, I don't even know what to say about the bizarre cycle of events that have turned Conan O'Brien into a freakishly popular Finnish cultural icon... it all just cracks me up to no end.
Ok, so it looks like Bono* of U2 has painted himself orange, moved to picturesque Port Talbot, Wales (birthplace of the late Richard Burton & Sir Anthony Hopkins), and opened a museum dedicated to baked beans.
*Ok, it might not be Bono. Unless Bono legally changed his name to Captain Beany from Planet Beanus... which apparently this guy has.
In late 19th & early 20th century Russia, GregoryEfimovichRasputin was a famous guy(warning: bottom of the page has a photo of his corpse). Not only was he incredibly difficult to murder, dare I say he remains legendary for his powers with women to this day (warning #2: photo of his...umm... most famous asset, pickled in a museum).
Flash forward to 1978... who could possibly be more deserving of a disco tribute than Rasputin! Russia's greatest love machine!? This catchy tune was sung by Boney M, who occasionally looked a lot like OJ Simpson.
Not sure if Grandpa Bill went to Heaven but you're really, really hoping he did? Well Heavenly Images can provide some visual confirmation to ease your mind.
Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along.
I've been a dedicated fan of Wing's unique singing for many, many years. I've been on her mailing list since LONG before she had her own South Park episode. Listening to her always makes me strangely happy, even when some of the notes she hits cause a small trickle of blood to flow from my ears. It brings me joy that people have talked her into covering AC/DC. I just adore living in a world where Wing exists.
So IMAGINE my joy when yesterday Wing sent out an e-mail announcing the release of her new album... WING SINGS ELVIS!!! With me doing this whole Elvis theme and all, it feels like a gift from God.
So all of that said, may I now present... Wing singing "In The Ghetto." Life is so wonderful sometimes!
Elvis Visits the Polls Sighted By: Ronny Bauer Location: Baghdad, Iraq Date: February, 2005
ELVIS #8
In May 2000, Ronny Bauer sold all of his belongings, quit his job, said farewell to his band and left to undertake "the ultimate journey," The Search for Elvis.
His goal? "I will circle the globe to find all the people and places that still have The Spirit of the King in their hearts." He's currently looking for Elvis in Essaouira, Morocco through April.
You've gotta give him a hand for dedication... I'm surprised he hasn't found the guy yet!
I'm too sexy for my strategically-placed sharpeis...
Say what you want about the Hoff, the guy is industrious (and a total spaz. Need proof?). Everyone knows how much Germany loves him... after all, he singlehandedly knocked down the Berlin Wall, for God's sake! (Or did he? Well, no matter.)
This guy's been lucky enough to make a lot of money by talking to a car, running in slow motion on the beach, having Sponge Bob Squarepants literally run up and down his hairy, aging body on the big screen and even, somehow, being allowed to sing and dance on Broadway. (He also has a lot of internet games dedicated to him, as previously noted.) Yes, life is good for the ol' Hoff. So what else is left for him to do but retire and grow old with his family? He's done it all, right?
I'm crossing my fingers for "may not"... a David Hasselhoff rap album is more than I can bear. I can't think of anything worse. Oh, wait... actually, I CAN!
These scraps of paper survived Katrina in my beaten up Mid City home, and as I gaze on them now, they are a poignant reminder of what’s been lost... I wonder how “Tangle Eye” would have done in Salt Lake City or how Mr. “Dolomite” would have been received in Minneapolis... And what about the next generation of “Puddins” and “Stumpies” and “Mumbles” and “Roundheads”? How are they making out right now?
I am the Professor of Mirth, a certified laughter leader with Laughter Yoga Clubs International. Let me show you how to laugh your stress away! It's okay if you think I'm nuts with all this laughter. I'd rather be a crazy quilt than a wet blanket. Laugh along with me and have fun!
Nudist Christians Re-Unite with the American Association for Nude Recreation
Posted at 12:06:16 AM on January 6, 2006
Actual Nude Christian!
We heard lots of news this past year about plans for the Christian Nudist Community in Florida called Natura.
Modern day Quaker, Bill Martin recounted last month to TimesOnline that Natura was expelled by the American Association for Nude Recreation in February, 2005, because their (now defunct) website, naturaresports.com was displaying “sexually exploitative material”.
Archive.org provides the "wayback" evidence for these indiscretions (prepare yourself for nude Christian photos!) dating to 2003 - 2004 and 2005 ).
The good news is, that Natura is now reinstated as an official member of the American Association for Nude Recreation, following the release of their new and rather sad one page statement at natura-fellowship.org which simply admits that the group can't have a real web site any more, apparently because even nudists are offended by their belief in showing what nudity and Christianity mixed together actually looks like.
Their lively Yahoo message board lives on however (no photos), but not without controversy. Recent posts include concerns "we are having many persons attempt to become part of the group whose main interest seems to be sexual".
From all the evidence so far, it appears that Christians believing in online nudity (as long as you don't get interested in sex at the same time) may be coming to your town soon.
Kiefer Sutherland, bad driver and drunken killer of Christmas trees
Ok, so it was the early '90s... I was stuck in traffic on Vine Street in Hollywood. The light turned green and I'm just hitting the gas when a black BMW speeds by from the parking lane and cuts me off from the right, forcing me to brake in a complete panic. Wanting to know what kind of &*%$ would do this, I sped up to see none other than a post-Young GunsKiefer Sutherland staring intently ahead from the wheel. And this was before cel phones so it was really just him being a jerk on purpose. Thus began my personal decade of Kiefer-loathing.
But hey, he's redeemed himself lately right? It was a long time ago that he was cutting people off & being dumped by Julia Roberts. He's got a hit show, a family, he's all growed up and mature!
OR MAYBE NOT. Well, unless you call attacking a London hotel's innocent 12 ft. Christmas tree & doing lame breakdance routines whilst undergoing near-alcohol poisoning* with his garage band... uhhh... "mature." And if you do, you're probably rushing Sigma Nu at Arizona State & not a 40-year-old man with 4 kids. Just sayin'.
*And you did this all while hanging out with & hitting on REPORTERS for the London Sunday Mirror!? Ooof, really bad call, dude.
You may be asking yourself where all the really smart people are on the world wide web. The answers are here:
The Giga Society "is open to anyone scoring at or above the 99.9999999th estimated unselected population percentile on any of the acceptable tests. This means one in a billion individuals can qualify." There are currently 6 members.
The OLYMPIQ Society " International High-Intelligence's Society for the top 0.00003% of the general population. The abilities of OLYMPIQ members are extremely rare, since only 1'800 out of the 6'400'000'000 can qualify for membership." - Apparently, this doesn't mean you need to understand how websites are supposed to work. Make sure you browse this really smart site.
The World Intelligence Network "Being aware of the importance of intelligence matters, Dr. Evangelos G. Katsioulis founded The World Intelligence Network (WIN) on January 1st, 2001. This date signals a departure from the structures and functions traditionally associated with high IQ societies."
The music is mighty spooky, no doubt about that and the gallery of videos prove once and for all that there's a lot we don't understand about what happens to people with too much time and technology on their hands.
Just in case you missed it, The Reformed Druids of North America just released their year end wrap-up.
Highlights: "Three things in a woman which bring on her the world's disrespect and her husband's hatred: lying long in the morning, being stubborn, and being slattern*." "Three plagues of the wise: women, drink, and bad temper."
Hot Druid News: "The state Game Commission is currently drafting proposed regulations to allow hunters to use the atlatl, a small wooden device used to propel a six-foot dart as fast as 80 mph. The commission could vote to legalize its use as early as January."
(No, this one isn't dance-related, sorry.) According to the Washington Post...On most of the 365 days he has enjoyed at his secluded ranch here, President Bush's idea of paradise is to hop in his white Ford pickup truck in jeans and work boots, drive to a stand of cedars, and whack the trees to the ground...
First off... that he has now been on his ranch for a FULL YEAR during his presidency? Yikes. But really, what's with his total OBSESSION (!) over the clearing of brush and destruction of trees? Seems like some strange outlet for aggression to me. Glad I'm not a plant on his property, that's for sure.
Just in case you're concerned that 2006 marks the begining of the end, Chris Nelson has taken the time to compile a history of the end of days, predictions dating back over 2000 years, which all have at least one thing in common, which is that none of them came true.
"She was in severe pain... Everybody in the prison heard the scream." Terrie England (Lynndie's mother), who is caring for England's infant during her incarceration, faulted prison officials for not giving better treatment during a visit to the emergency room. "They gave her nothing," she said. "When this happened I was furious... To think they give you nothing for pain."
But my personal favorite of all is the live art of Make Up & Hair by Julie. With her brilliant help, you can entertain people as a statue, a fabulous strolling table, or even a wacky piece of fruit. Cool!
Oh, and if rather than being a statue you'd prefer to just pretend you're a famous painting? Move to Laguna, California.
And while it's actually a little frightening, I also present... The Spanish Mr. T! Imitation is the sincerest form of... uhh... well, it's just kind of scary really.
After leaving a dot-com job, what's a girl to do? How about becoming a nude chef?
Available for parties and cooking lessons, Bunny Bunns has quite the hopping career nowadays. Just check out her self-promotion video. (NSFW, might be good to make sure the boss isn't around.)
If you decide to take any cooking classes with her, you might want to avoid making fried foods, though. That splatter can be a killer. Ouch.
GARY DUSCHL began his gum wrapper chain on March 11, 1965. $53,833 worth of gum later his remarkable chain has reached 47,514 FEET long and weighs 633 pounds (which he posted December 11, 2005).
But the truly remarkable feat? He only uses Wrigley gum wrappers!
There are only about 50 living professional sword swallowers left worldwide. So is sword swallowing for real? Well, look a little into the history and you'll find lots of interesting proof. Want to learn how to swallow swords? Click here to have all of your questions answered. But don't forget to join the union.
The Census Bureau's "Population Clock" provides a second by second update of the number of people everywhere. As of this posting, the USA has a net gain of one person every 10 seconds, but only one US birth every 7 seconds. In order to keep up with this ever changing number, subscribe to their RSS feed today
Here's a nice little online resume for this big fat guy who wants to be an actor. I can imagine his grandkids sitting around and begrudgingly telingl him how good his rendition of "angry fat man" was this time, as he rolls out of his chair to slam another tape into the VCR. Comments (0)
I've always dreamed of being in a movie or on TV. I grew up like most people in their 40's watching everything from Dragnet to Twilight Zone and dreaming "I can do that if just given the chance"... I close my eyes and see "DEAD BODY...played by... ME!"
...I can lay there and be dead. I can achieve my dream by being shot, stabbed, drugged, mugged, mangled, strangled or any other scenario you can think of. I can even recite lines if needed. As you have probably already guessed, I am not shy at all.
Have you been missing the dysfunctional white-trash nastiness of Jerry Springer lately? Well if you find yourself in Britain, you can get your fix with Jerry Springer, The Opera (starring David Soul aka HUTCH!!! OMG!!!).
"Oh come on, cut me some slack. My wife is SALT for God's sake!!!"
While recapping the evils of Sodom & Gommorah, youth pastor Blake Bergstrom let his mind & tongue wander a little too much.
Ahhhh... Freudian slips are a beautiful thing. Especially when made during church sermons. And especially when videotaped.
Yes, "pitch his tents" does sound a bit like "pinch his t*ts," doesn't it? (Ok, well, not really.) Apparently Blake still has a job, though. And he has even offered up an explanation.
It's just not very often you get to read a heartwarming story of an 83 year-old woman chugging from a college's three-story beer bong.
Frances said the best part of the entire experience was the enthusiasm and cheers of the students. "I love everything about the kids. I want them to drink less, but I guess that's a little old fashioned."
Way to condemn drinking! Give mixed signals much, Frances?
JOHN EVANS - The undisputed master of balancing stuff on his head. Milk crates, pints of beer, house bricks, Mini Coopers, cans of Coke - you name it, this guy most likely holds the record for balancing more or them on his head than anybody.
Apparently even Santas can be discriminatory. Welcome to AORBS, an organization founded in order to separate the hairless, fake-beard-wearing boys from the superiorly hirsute men.* But with or without hair, you might want to spend some quality time at Santa School before hitting the mall.
What's that you say? You don't have a beard and you're not big on rugrats? Well that's ok. Just move to Austria & dress up like Santa's arch nemesis Krampus! Instead of having children sit on your lap, you can toss chains at them and threaten to eat them for dinner. As the old saying goes... "Kids are great! Especially with salt & pepper."
So they all dress the same? They're all related anyway?!
In my capacity as a respresentative of European stupidity I find it only fitting that I should start off with a bit of that most British of pastimes. Laughing at our Royal family.
To give you a bit of background to this, Camilla is the second wife of Charles, Prince of Wales (he used to be married to Diana but she dead). Charles is the next in line to the throne. This means that would be queen one day but since she is a divorcee, a smoker, and a bit ugly that has been declared unacceptable by the British public and most importantly, Charles' mother-in-law from hell, The Queen of England. Jeez.
The link below is reflective of the bizarre way the UK press and public treat these strange, over-priviledged people.
Ever wonder what kind of noises major celebrities hear in those haunting nightmares that bolt them wide awake at 3am? Well, that soundtrack may just sound a little something like THIS.
I've developed laryngitis just from listening to it.
