I'm not a huge Jay Leno Show fan (especially 'cuz one of my friends works for the show & I don't like how they treat him... grrr). I DO, however, love eccentric, wisecracking old people. So I LURVE me some Fruitcake Lady & I'm thrilled when Jay features her! Enjoy.
Just because I can, may I present you with a gyrating Erik Estrada (as CHIPS very own Ponch!) joining the late Laura Branigan onstage for a duet. And yes, she is singing about going "down." Ummm... what?
On CSI Miami, David Caruso can deliver a one-liner like nobody's business... as this brilliant video compilation very clearly shows. Watch him take off his glasses! Watch him put them on! And watch the drama enfold! YEEEEEAHHHHHH!
This video is so damned enjoyable, now I never have to endure another episode of the show! YEEEEEAHHHHHH!
A few days ago, we met GREAT ACTOR Brian Atene. I was afraid that he had languished in obscurity, howeer I'm happy to say that it appears dear Brian is still in fine form and would like to update us on his current situation. Enjoy.
Oh my Lord. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. The pain, the pain.
Back in the early 80s, Director Stanley Kubrick was searching throughout the U.S. for young aspiring actors to star in Full Metal Jacket. Apparently he put an ad in Variety encouraging people to send in their audition tapes. When Brian Atene, he of the Juillard School, perhaps the finest acting institution in the world, took him up on this offer... I'm sure Stanley Kubrick wondered if this was such a good idea.
His "cutting" from The Outsiders makes me think of Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade. "Mmmmmhuh. Ponyboy? I sure could go for some of those french fried 'taters... Mmmmmmhuh."
Wow. That girl's really a fan of Vaseline. Comments (0)
Tickle Me Harder
Posted at 8:22:21 PM on October 11, 2006
In a time where even Saved By The Bell's annoying Screech has a "celebrity" sex tape, who's to be surprised that even Sesame Street stars have a seamy underbelly? In this case, a red furry one. The above video may be NSFW, as it contains naked Elmos in compromising positions. You've been warned.
Wow, Japanese men sure have some kooky anaconda-like eating habits. Maybe it's just me, but I'm definitely not craving a burger now... a nice dainty salad sounds good.
Combine Baby Looney Tunes with The Archies, then add Dick Cheney's "Penguin" impersonation and some Guantanamo-style torture silliness (in the name of a good patriotic lunch!)... and you have this episode of Little George Bush on Hot Dog Day! Wheeee! (Note: it's stupid & could offend. But look at the name of this website. Deal with it!)
You can't get hummus without mashing some chickpeas.
Posted at 1:16:58 PM on August 10, 2006
I'm really happy to see that the Daily Show is bringing on a middle eastern correspondent to put everything into perspective. Birth pangs! Yay! Inshallah!
Maury Povich selflessly helps a girl deal with her greatest fear. What is she scared of? Snakes? Spiders? Heights? Death? Noooooo... guess again! Pickles!
Please keep your snakes in their upright and locked positions
Posted at 1:16:37 PM on March 17, 2006
As the two people who read my previous post may recall, I'm all hot for Samuel J. Jackson. Fighting snakes. On a plane. And really, who wouldn't be?!? What are you, insane? That's just a formula for good entertainment if ya ask me.
And it looks like the official trailer for Snakes on a Plane is finally out on the internet! Seriously, if you've ever longed to see a CGI snake slither from a fat woman's cleavage? I'm telling you, this is the film for you!
After escaping the box he was trapped in, Ken buried his face in his hands and cried. "That was a close one..." he sighed. "I almost didn't make it out."
The above photo is an actual still from an actual movie that will actually be called "Snakes on A Plane." Yesss!
For those of you on the edge of your seats waiting for the highly anticipated Samuel L. Jackson thriller Snakes on a Plane (aka "S.O.A.P."), you're not alone. (C'mon... a mafia witness, Samuel L. Jackson. a plane & SNAKES! How could this not be a HIT?)
Thanks to impatient fans, an unofficial rough cut of the film has been created! Yay!
Actor Jack Wild has passed away tragically. But to me he'll always be a cockney kid in bright clothes named Jimmy who was best friends with a really whiny talking flute and an overly effemenate redneck dragon that thought it was a cowboy. In my office, I have the official HR Pufnstuf soundtrack (it's a 45) on a shelf. Man, I loved that show. (I even have a t-shirt from Nick-at-Nite's "Puf-a-palooza!") But of course then I watched it as an adult and thought... "My lord, what kind of drugs was I taking as a child? Was I totally insane?!?" (The answer is... probably.)
The 30-Second Bunnies Theatre Library... in which a troupe of bunnies parodies a collection of movies (19 at current count!) by re-enacting them in 30 seconds, more or less. Now even Brokebackier!
I dunno... cartoon bunnies just never get old for me.
I decided to give these old audio recordings their own post... Co-written by Don Knotts, Arne Sultan and Marvin Worth, the monologues are mostly variations on Don's infamous Nervous Man routine (from Don's Steve Allen days) in different situations, such as a nervous sportscaster or weatherman.
Eyal Zusman (30) and Amitai Sandy (29), graphic artist and publisher of Dimona Comix Publishing, from Tel-Aviv, Israel, have followed the unfolding of the “Muhammad cartoon-gate” events in amazement, until finally they came up with the right answer to all this insanity –– and so they announced today the launch of a new anti-Semitic cartoons contest -– this time drawn by Jews themselves!
“We’ll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published!” said Sandy “No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!”
Actually this contest is the least stupid thing I've heard of in a while... It's kinda brilliant.
Oh, to be in my 20s again. That age where people are wacky enough to yell "I QUIT!" over the company intercom, run and jump around like a spaz, and have a friend videotape the whole thing to have documented proof of just how cool it is.
Of course, with my luck, my friend would also continue videotaping the aftermath too... the part where I stop laughing, have to start sifting through want ads circling everything from food service to telemarketing & begin to have crying jags because I have no rent money. Oh, and then the part where I end up repeatedly hitting my head against the wall, wishing I hadn't been such an idiot to quit my crappy job.
In late 19th & early 20th century Russia, GregoryEfimovichRasputin was a famous guy(warning: bottom of the page has a photo of his corpse). Not only was he incredibly difficult to murder, dare I say he remains legendary for his powers with women to this day (warning #2: photo of his...umm... most famous asset, pickled in a museum).
Flash forward to 1978... who could possibly be more deserving of a disco tribute than Rasputin! Russia's greatest love machine!? This catchy tune was sung by Boney M, who occasionally looked a lot like OJ Simpson.
Continuing with the 1970s flashbacks... anybody feel like watching a strange British guy with an Emu puppet on his arm repeatedly attack, choke, and try to drown a Dutch television host? Well here you go.
Those of you from Britain no doubt have strong memories of Rod Hull & Emu's shtick. Even though Mr. Hull passed away in 1999 (fell off the roof of his house!), you can still buy emu toys there.
Personally, I remember Emu from The Hudson BrothersRazzle Dazzle Show (circa 1975). To a little kid, the concept of an attack puppet is strangely brilliant... before long, all of my puppets suddenly began attacking my sisters.
Hi, I am Wing! I immigrated to New Zealand with my family about ten years ago from Hong Kong. I have been learning singing in New Zealand and I do performances in Rest Homes and Hospitals and occasionally promotional concerts as I go along.
I've been a dedicated fan of Wing's unique singing for many, many years. I've been on her mailing list since LONG before she had her own South Park episode. Listening to her always makes me strangely happy, even when some of the notes she hits cause a small trickle of blood to flow from my ears. It brings me joy that people have talked her into covering AC/DC. I just adore living in a world where Wing exists.
So IMAGINE my joy when yesterday Wing sent out an e-mail announcing the release of her new album... WING SINGS ELVIS!!! With me doing this whole Elvis theme and all, it feels like a gift from God.
So all of that said, may I now present... Wing singing "In The Ghetto." Life is so wonderful sometimes!
With this year's Super Bowl over and all of its advertising dollars spent, let's flashback to the scandal of last year, shall we? In the wake of wardrobe malfunction mania, the most controversial banned tv ad of last year wasn't about tank top straps.... oh no. Try again.
The offending spot I'm referring to was for Airborne, and featured a then-85-year-old Mickey Rooney's bare behind as he ran from a coughing woman in a coed (?) steamroom. Caused quite a scandal, too... he was even on the Today Show to discuss it.
Sure, it sounds like an angry fly in a rainstorm, but don't be fooled, darlin'. It's just disembodied, floating, sneering Elvis heads that will answer all of your deepest, darkest questions from beyond the grave.
Just for the record, the pottery at Color Me Mine isn't half as crazy delicious as a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery, but macchiatos are pretty darned tasty.
There are only three days left for you to stare at any of ten cams placed around Britain in hopes of spotting a Haggis and winning a prize.
Don't miss out - Visit the Haggis Cams immediately. While you are staring at these cams in hopes of spotting a Haggis, you may want to drink a good deal Balblair Whiskey, the clever sponsor of this uniquely troubling game.
The Daily Wav's concept is simple... every day Hunter Elliott puts random soundclips on the web for your listening pleasure. Or as he describes it, "11 years of forcing my annoying hobby on you and your cubemates!"
It's a sad truth, but totally stupid stuff doesn't usually last very long on the internet. It's therefore very satisfying to eagerly anticipate the ten year anniversary of Cat Cam, launched in 1996 and still just as stupid as ever.
I am one of those people who gets chills up their spine at the mere thought of someone cracking their knuckles. So I don't ever do it. Rob Manuel, on the other hand, not only cracks his knuckles he'll let you crack them too.
Just make sure I'm out of the room, please... gaaahhhh!
It's obvious that these kids worked super hard on this dance sequence, so contrary to ifilm's caption I don't think they should be embarrassed whatsoever. I think it's cute.
Besides, s/he who is without embarrassing school performances in their past can cast the first stone. I zip my mouth for very good reason. My kindergarten performance debut can be summed up in four words: "doggie in the window." Yes that's right, I barked and wagged my butt while kids sang about me and asked how much I cost. You got a problem with that? If so, see the photo on the post below...
Speaking as a total travel addict, I can't help but say... MATT HARDING IS COOL! (No, I don't know him. But come on! This video rocks!)
As for his dance moves? Well... they're definitely unique, that's for sure. ;) ************************************* ETA: I found out the scoop on Matt. He's still on the road and is currently journaling his travels. His site even has a handy itinerary map to check out! Wow, am I jealous... that's cool.
Pay close attention to this old instructional video by Finnish dance instructor Åke Blomqvist and you'll be shaking your groove thing before you know it. Disco drives the chicks wild... maybe now you'll finally get a date!
Happy New Year! I decided that it might be fun if my first posts of 2006 had a theme... and because of my mood (I'm glad it's a new year!), I've picked DANCING!
Too groovy for you? Well then check out the decidedly less hip & funky moves from American Bandstand circa 1985: recorded proof that Saint Elmo's Fire should NEVER be danced to.
Do you feel awkward in authentic sushi restaurants because you're ignorant of the traditions and customs? Well, here's a clever little documentary on proper Japanese dining etiquette. Be sure to take notes. Hai!
Yes, I know this rap video from SNL's December 17th episode is traveling the web right now. But even though SNL usually kinda stinks, it made me laugh.
And besides, have you people ever waited in line to actually EAT a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery?!? I mean... they're overrated but still... YUM. Just look at that frosting... I kinda wanna swim in it!
Commercial & video director Javier Prato brings us the beautifully shot & ever-so-danceable short film Jesus Christ, The Musical. Alas, poor Jesus just never seems to catch a break.
I'm totally going to Hell for posting this, but it made me laugh for about a half an hour. I lived in LA for a long time, so I must confess that my favorite thing about this video is watching the reactions of shocked tourists on Hollywood Blvd. Say what you want about the town, but watching creative people freak out innocent Hollywood tourists in the name of a politically incorrect laugh? Good times.
Check it out, yo! Those wacky JibJab brothers are at it again. This time they're giving Dubya a break & instead made a rap video about Moses' favorite carb: "Matzah!"(short commercial first, sorry.)
ETA... looks like I spoke too soon about them giving George a break. (It's no This Land, of course. That'll always be the best one.)
And while it's actually a little frightening, I also present... The Spanish Mr. T! Imitation is the sincerest form of... uhh... well, it's just kind of scary really.
Continuing on today's rock theme... few people know just how much went on behind the scenes to create those manly smooth 70's rock sounds we all know & love. The operatic yet thoughtful "Yacht Rock" series TELLS those stories.
Loggins & Messina, Christopher Cross, Peter Cetera, Steve Perry, Michael McDonald... oh yes, they're there in all of their rockin' hair glory. Start with Episode 1 and be sure to prepare yourself for the dark side of Hall & Oates... it's not pretty.
It says right there on Slim Mackerel's website... "Warning: Some songs may offend some chicks." That pretty much covers this post.
Slim Mackerel supposedly has had a 30 year career in music, although he dropped out for 20 of them. Now he sings songs like "Girl You Smell" and makes videos with celebrities. (Watching him torment poor Molly Shannon cracked me up though.)
Fortunately, Sweden has given us the ever-so pouty GÜNTHER. "The four main things in Günther's life are Champagne, Glamour, Sex and Respect!" I have long enjoyed his Ding Dong Song (NSFW -- there's nudity), but now it looks like he has a Christmas video on his site, not to mention ring tones and a screensaver. Tra la la!
Nobody loves you like your mama. But Kennedy promises to love her back for you. (LSFW)
"Oh come on, cut me some slack. My wife is SALT for God's sake!!!"
While recapping the evils of Sodom & Gommorah, youth pastor Blake Bergstrom let his mind & tongue wander a little too much.
Ahhhh... Freudian slips are a beautiful thing. Especially when made during church sermons. And especially when videotaped.
Yes, "pitch his tents" does sound a bit like "pinch his t*ts," doesn't it? (Ok, well, not really.) Apparently Blake still has a job, though. And he has even offered up an explanation.
Perplexing (yet catchy) Flash videos from around the world
Posted at 2:58:32 PM on December 8, 2005
KIKKOMASO seems to be a Japanese soy sauce superhero who's apparently good with the ladies. Or something. I guess.
HATTEN AR DIN will make you want to buy a hat. (But can anyone explain to me why at one point they superglue a ham?)
This cute little Korean animated cartoon is an ode to "dung." It teaches the importance of diet by featuring adorable singing maggots who occasionally sport afros. SO CUTE! And yet... ick.
HYAKUGOJYUUICHI!!! on the other hand? No sense can be made of it. Don't try.
Ever wonder what kind of noises major celebrities hear in those haunting nightmares that bolt them wide awake at 3am? Well, that soundtrack may just sound a little something like THIS.
I've developed laryngitis just from listening to it.
August 1978, French filmmaker Claude Lelouch mounted a camera to a Ferrari 275 GTB and had a professional Formula 1 racer drive through the heart of Paris. The film was limited for technical reasons to 10 minutes; the course was from Porte Dauphine, through the Louvre, to the Basilica of Sacre Coeur. The driver completed the course in about 9 minutes, reaching nearly 140 MPH in some stretches. The footage reveals him running real red lights, nearly hitting real pedestrians, and driving the wrong way up real one-way streets.
"These are MIDI files -- so besides being depressing, they'll also sound dumb too. This collection is in no way complete and it reflects only my personal feelings of sadness which I am compelled to inflict upon you..." Comments (0)
